Those of you who read here when my little one was alive know that she had a heart for those society considers ‘less than’ – whether it be economically, socially, physically.  They all mattered to caitlin.  She was color blind. class blind, it just didn’t matter.  If you were part of this most amazing human race there was a spot in her heart for you.

One of her favorite activities each year was the Buddy Walk.  For those not in the know it is a yearly event dedicated to those whose lives have been touched by Downs Syndrome.  A means of increasing awareness for the most part.  There is a picnic and festival at the marina culminating in a ‘walk’ as it were.  Basically a stroll along the wharf and each year my pet was there.

Two year ago she took the little man and he made some friends and last year they exchanged cards and pictures using caitlin as the liason.

This year – this year was a tough one.  The walk was yesterday and the director for the agency she was employed with had called and asked the boys and I to attend if possible.  The little man is with his dad so J and I went in their stead.  The families knew about caitlin – several had come to her memorial – but the little guys?  I was concerned about how this day would play out.

To be in that place where she knew such joy and just chose to hang out with her buddies and enjoy life as only she could was tough.  There was the inevitible remembrances and the ache was palpable.  But it was good to be there.  To see her ‘kids’ who are now in there late teens to mid twenties and a couple who are nearing 40 who were all on her case load at some point in time.  Those who considered her their ’sista’ and will forever be changed by the time she spent in their lives.

Towards the end of the day her former director got up to speechify, as he put it, and spoke of my girl and of all she had added to the lives of those who were there…how she had spent tireless hours helping with this event…how she had advocated for this event when it seemed funding would disappear…how she had stood in the gap for this group of families who deserved this day…and how it was not the same without her here…

Slowly…one by one…her ‘kids’ walked up to the end of the pier and dropped a tulip into the water and said their goodbyes.  Did the truly understand what was going on?  Not all of them…but they knew that for some reason Missy K was not there and that was enough to be sad…

J and I spent the day playing soccer, throwing a frisbee,  enjoying a bbq and being hugged a million times by those who wanted to let us know they missed her too.

I think we did Caitlin proud…and?  I made it through one more thing that she should have been here for.