Lately when I come here to write I find myself starting a post and then deleting it…time and time again I read what I have written and decide I want to hold it close and not put it out here for all to see…and I am not sure why.

I journal daily in my leather bound journal that lies next to my bed…I have for decades…and I journal nearly daily for Master on His private site that was begun just for the two of us back when we were getting to know one another…but those are both very personal and very private.  For our eyes only.

My journal – Master of course can read whenever He chooses to – but to the best of my knowledge He never has ventured forth.  I suppose it’s because He knows I will eventually tell Him my heart and He is willing to wait for His girl to come to Him rather than invade what He considers to be mine…and it is pretty much the only thing He considers mine…which is fine with me.

I love my readers…love sharing my world with those who stop by…even those who feel compelled to point out the errors of my way and remind me yet again that this is so very wrong to choose to live this life…so why the hesitation to let you in these days?

I am not sure and am even more unsure about how to change it…

Things here on the left side of the map are wonderful…the back and forth about what is best for me versus what is His heart’s desire is making me crazy and I have taken huge steps back and just wait for Him to tell me whether to pack or unpack…the uncertainty is a bit annoying but I trust all will become clear and unmuddled soon…

I am currently sporting some most delicious stripes across the back of my thighs and the sweet spot just below my ass thanks to time spent with the cane and the single tail two nights ago…we even ventured into time with the whip but it is a work in progress…and I have to admit I love the thrill that passes through me when I hear the crack of the whip but the pain that follows is not so much a favorite.

We are alone this weekend with the exception of tonight’s poker game so He has promised more to come…