I love my husband…I love my Master…I love being His and having Him make all the major decisions and I just follow along and do what I am told…it’s the way it’s sposed to be right?  That’s how the rules work…it’s one of the best parts about being a slave – I don’t have to make decisions…cause quite frankly I suck at them…

So when He lays down the law – especially when it means I have to face some really tough choices of my own? – His yes needs to stay yes!  Maybes are not allowed…they confuse me and make my world off balance..

And yet – is He not the Master?  If He wants to change His mind He is more than allowed that privilege…right?

But that doesn’t mean I have to embrace it does it?

We are in the midst of a crisis – okay, maybe not a crisis but it might as well be one…and I don’t like it…I feel all out of sorts and insecure and as if I have no place to go to find that security that normally comes from Him…cause He is the source of my confusion…

What would said crisis be?  He is waffling on the move…because of me…because of my health…and it’s scaring me and it confuses me and it makes me want to lay down the law with Him (stop giggling…I could so do it if I had to!!) and tell Him that we are going – that it has been His heart for nearly a year now and He is not changing things for me.  I have a great team waiting for me at the Cleveland Clinic and we have family there and I will make friends…and and and

But just as I need His yes to be YES…He needs me to respect that His yes can sometimes change…

le sigh even…