Master and I have had company the past few days and it was really wonderful. Our friends from Seattle came down for most of last week and through the weekend. Rather than dance around the topic – let’s just refer to them as Adam and Kam
Master has known them for ages and they are so comfortable together – like putting on your favorite pair of slippers…it’s just the perfect fit and your whole being relaxes in to it.
They are both in their 50s so, once again, I feel like the little kid in the room but, I don’ t mind. Kam is just like me in that she has no desire to be dominant or Alpha or what have you…she assumes the Alpha role should Adam request it but when it’s the four of us she makes me feel like we are on a level playing field.
It was the most amazing thing to be with them…it just seemed so normal you know? We talked about our kids and past jobs we’d had and the MOVE and health stuff and retirement funds and soccer games and wine and growing older as well as floggers and cages and the horse and needle play and limits and the silliness that pervades our community at times…
It just seemed so normal – not having to weigh our words or worry about what others in the room might think…yes, we have been to play parties and that freedom is there but it seems (to me at least) that the parties sometimes become a place to trot out the ‘forbidden things’ you would never dare to voice in any other setting as well as a lot of showmanship… not normal, not even realistic at times.
Did we play? Of course we did…Adam is the only other dom that Master has thus far let beat me…and it is not the same as Master. Do I trust Adam? Absolutely, but he is not Master…I am not in love with him…I can’t find my center with him. So after time spent with him and the flogger I feel lost, especially if Master is not able to take me away to find center again, so there is a huge sub drop for me after scening with Adam.
This is not to say it is not amazing…specially with the cane…yup…the cane…I hate the cane – specially the stiffer ones with no give whatsoever – for pete’s sake, grab a stick why don’t ya, but Adam has the most amazing knack for hitting that spot just below my ass repeatedly and after just a few strokes I am gone…not the squishy wet if he touches me I will cum gone…but the somewhere out there gone…
However? When Master and I have spent time together and I am tender and bruised and each and every move reminds me of that time and I smile to myself as I remember that time and each time I sit I remember whose I am…I don’t get that from Adam…it just hurts…and it’s a good thing but it’s not the same.
One of the things that happened this time was we finally had the long awaited debate over restraints. Master does not ever restrain me…His stance is that I want to be there and He should not have to tie me down to keep me there…the ‘helpless female’ is not part of His sadist DNA so it’s not something He needs…
Adam contends that by not restraining me, Master is giving me a choice and slaves don’t have choices…hmmmm somehow I think this is a whole nother post….opinions?
Sounds like a lovely evening. Master “used” me as a target/training tool a few times with a man who He training to be a Dom. It was interesting to say the least. However, i wanted to comment on the topic of restraints.
i love being restrained. Master does not restrain me to “keep me there” but because it heights my sense of the session. i am submitting to having my “freedom” liberty taken away from me. Giving my trust wholly to my Master. It is both about Master’s pleasure as well as mine. As my greatest plesure is to please my Master; Master’s greatest pleasure is seeing that i too am pleased. As yes, He also says when i’m in a position that pushes me “it’s not the Ritz Carleton bitch”. That’s when He is taking what He wants!
As Master has always told me, the lifestyle is about growth and learning. W/we have both grown over the past two years together by discussion. Asking what is it that i want to bring me to that next level. When He pushes my limits, it excites me. Opening the doors to “first times”. There are many things that Master insisted He wouldn’t do with me, but by seeing my excitement in doing them, He has grown as much as i have.
take care
By: kit on September 19, 2008
at 7:10 am
I think that your experience with Adam points very clearly to the difference that it makes when we engage is SM play with someone with whom we have a real “connection.” It could be that all the exact same techniques, tools, and methods get used, but the energy is going to be different if we are not connected at the level that you are with your Master.
As for the question of restraints — it just isn’t as simple as this conversation paints it. Restraints, in the context of a power exchange relationship can be “about” a number of things depending on the people involved. As your Master points out, it might be about a perception of willingness and choice, for others it could indicate some limit or lack in the control and power flow. We use restraints occasionally. Sometimes, I find it comforting and feel that it gives me a measure of security. Sometimes, feeling that as a need, I ask for restraints, and may be given them for that purpose. There are other situations, however, where I find being restrained very difficult both emotionally and physically. The fact that I experience it in that way does not determine whether or not Master uses them, but it is a reality that He considers as He makes choices. For the most part, we do not use restraints. I’d imagine that He feels, as your Master does, that my willing participation is sufficient, and nothing more is needed.
swan
By: swan on September 20, 2008
at 4:15 pm