I don’t like them…I have a quote hanging over my desk that says ‘my problem could be that I am indecisive…or maybe I’m not…’  I don’t like to make decisions, I don’t like to have the final word.  It’s one of the many reasons I have Him…or He has me…depends on how you want to look at it…

Okay – so ummm purple tee or pink – I can do…tennies or flips?  Again, I got this one.  Heck I can even decide what to make for dinner – although I do have to order last at a restaurant because I keep changing my mind – but overall?  It’s His job to make the choices in my life – or at least I usually declare it is (enter throat clearing and raised eyebrow here)…

Master and I are discussing some choices that need to be made and although I am so going to get drummed out of the club for this one  – wait for it….wait for it…. – I have opinions that don’t necessarily agree with the choices He wants to make.  Yup…me…wondersubbie…slave du jour…me…disagrees with her Master.

Now I know there are those who are currently drafting letters to whoever is in charge of the by laws to have me ousted but nonetheless it’s true. 

Quite frankly it’s one of the things He enjoys most about me – the fact that I do have my own opinions and more importantly am not afraid to voice them.  We both know that ultimately if push comes to shove He will lay down the law and I will say ‘Yes Master’…

So what choices are we battling with currently?  Master drives a truck…not a truck a TRUCK…and it is a diesel that holds roughly 50 gallons of fuel or some ridiculous number like that…diesel is around $4.17 here in Podunk and it’s costing around $800.00 monthly for His fuel bill…I on the other hand drive a smaller vehicle and although gas is $3.79 right now…I get 38 mpg….and it is costing me about $45.00 a month for gas – in a bad month – soooo He wants to buy me a new car and He’ll drive mine…I don’t want a new car…I luffs my little baby…why can’t HE have the new car?  He thinks He is spoiling me…I think He is taking my toys…

Then there is Ohio…when we first began discussing combining our worlds the agreement was I would come to Him once my son graduated….then two years ago He decided He simply could not wait that long and so He came to me…with the understanding that we would be returning to Ohio once my son had graduated…not selling our property out here…just making home base Ohio.

Said son graduated last year….

He gave me some time to adjust but now He is making plans and setting deadlines and talking like we really might move…

I DON’T WANT TO!

He has bribed me with The Heron Clan and snow and Annah and her siblings and tons of visits back here in California and shopping in NYC and and and….

He is not pushing too hard at the moment because my docs are here and we have not researched a team back there yet…but He intends to have this and I DON’T WANT TO GO…

My whole world is here…my friends…my son…my son’s friends…Miss Sarah and family…my church…my volunteer work…my cabin…my garden…my beach…my big trees…my niece….it’s all here…I guess I was hoping He would not make me do this?  Or maybe I thought I would not be so hard…but dang it…

My rock is Master and He is ultimately all I need but the thought of moving my entire life to the other side of the country?  Ooooooooooooooooooh scary….

So we are talking and debating and making lists and praying and voicing opinions…and yes I know that ultimately I will acquiesce to His will but it doesn’t mean I have to like it does it???