this was written a week or so ago…Master just now has allowed me to post it. 

Master and I arrived back on the left side of the map earlier today and aside from the fact that I am a bit tired all is well.  As expected Mom chose to remain back east for a bit so it is still just Master and I.  The little man is with his dad and won’t be here until next week some time and my teen is currently stuck in Denver but should be home by Monday…

My furbabies are firmly attached to Master with the exception of Itty who is sleeping in my lap as I write…we are evidently forgiven for leaving them for two weeks…a fire in the stove another in the fireplace in His room and hot tea in my cup…Master is soaking in a hot tub (I am not allowed as my blood pressure is funky…and my heart is going in and out of rhythm but this is almost a normal thing after I fly so no one is worried…honest) and I am listening to Rod Stewart’s latest while I spend some time with you.

Master and I had a long discussion while flying home – two layovers gave us lots of spare time – largely about the need for ‘rules and rituals’ and it was quite the eye opener for both of us I think.

editorial note:  the remainder of this post is not by any means a comment about anyone else and their choices…it’s what works for US for now…and above all in this life we support each and everyone of us making the choices as far was what works in each individual relationship…there is no handbook for this life and we all make our way through picking and choosing what we want and or need from it.

For the first few years of our relationship Master and I lived several thousand miles apart.  We spoke several times a day via cell as well as here on the computer and although we spent as many stolen weekends together as we possibly could a lot of the day to day stuff happened here.

At that time, I suppose it would be fair to say, we had a lot of rules and rituals.  Or I should say I had a lot of rules and rituals.  I need to preface this with the fact that more than the pain?  More than the service even…I crave the control that He brings to my life.  So each and every week I would submit my calendar and He would approve and disapprove things as well as adjusting times and adding tasks that He required of me.

I did not ever serve Him on cam.  For a few reasons – the biggest one being I had a 13 year old and a not 3 year old running around and there was a three hour time difference so by the time they were asleep?  So was Master.  But there are other reasons.  

We started as friends and worked our way up to Master/slave and quite honestly I don’t think online servitude would have worked FOR US (just wanting to make sure that people understand this is not a judgement or commentary on anyone else…it’s just about us)  But there were rules…His voice was and still is the first thing I hear each day.  The first words He hears me say are ‘I am Yours’…if He doesn’t hear them then He will know I am no longer His slave.  This will never happen but nonetheless it’s there.

I wear at least one of the three ‘everyday’ collars He has designed always.  There are certain postures and little ways of doing things that are always there.  Which brought us to a list…

For now He has decided it is not a necessary thing.  If there ever comes a time when He feels I have lost my way and am not acting as He deems appropriate?  A list could very well be in my future.  Quite honestly I think one of the reasons there is no ‘list’ is because I am insanely organized with a touch of OCD and lists are yummy to people like me….so it’s a with holding thingy…

 As He put it…I know my place and should I decide to move out of it…He’ll let me know what I need to improve on to get back to where He wants me to be.