Master and I went to Seattle a few weeks back to spend time with friends and attend a play party. Most of these people He has known for ages and I have met at the last two parties we went to but it’s still awkward for me…I feel like the geeky new kid at school who wore capris when the rest of the gang is wearing jeans…you know? Add to that the fact that I am at least 10 to 20 years younger than everyone else and by far the least experienced? It is a strange event sometimes.
Master, as always, did His best to assure me and make me comfortable and I had a really good time…I think I may have even managed to not look like a rubber necker this time. For the most part this party is not about demos and new techniques, it’s just a chance for friends to get together. It’s basically like any other group of friends getting together until….one of the Masters decides to place a wager.
Seems these men will bet on anything - from when the first nipple will make an appearance to whose slave can bear the most pain…it’s insane…but it’s a lot of fun as well.
I tend to stick close to Him for the most part. His physical presence makes me feel secure and confident that I can handle whatever life throws at me…just the touch of His hand on my arm or the twinkle in His eye as He glances my way. The soft whisper of ‘bella’ or the firm voice that calls out for His pet to come…it all fills that place that needs assurance.
The few times that I was not by His side He made certain I was with the wife of the couple who were hosting and at one point He left me with Sir - the One who was hosting. Master tells me He is most confident that the day will soon arrive when I am assisting the hosts rather than seeking them out for comfort…
Anyway -this was a larger party than in the past. Maybe 25 people in total. Mainly long established couples but there were a couple of singles as well. It was a nice mix of people. At lunch we were sitting around the back deck and the topic of death came up…not death per se but what happens in our unique circles when one partner dies - especially when the one left behind is the slave? Remember, these are couples who have been together for several years or in a few cases, decades. Some of these women only know the life of a slave and have been solely dependent on their Masters for the majority of their adult lives.
So what happens should their Master die? It was interesting to sit and listen and make silent comparisons. Some of these slaves have never held a job, never managed a bank account, never made any major decisions, never known any life other than serving this Man and the thought of not having Him there is scaring some of them. The discussion came about because one of the men in the group is currently in hospital battling a disease that will no doubt take Him from us soon. His wife has been with Him in a M/s relationship for 41 years and is terrified at where she goes from here. She is just 57 years old and is beyond petrified.
It is a given that we as a group will care for her and support her and what have you but what about the day to day? How is she going to walk that daily walk when she is losing the One she walks it for? This was the discussion and the most surprising part for me was to hear the men’s take on all of it…they actually get it! They seem to truly understand what she is losing and for some reason that totally surprised me. So let me apologize now to all of the Masters who stop by here, I so underestimated you and I apologize.
Apparently this particular couple has an agreement made eons ago with another couple that should He die, she will go under the other man’s covering. Not necessarily the physical side of the relationship, although the presumption at lunch was that would come as well, but for guidance and protection and safely and what have you.
Which I suppose works…for some…after all she is his possession but she is not merely his possession…she is his love, the woman he had children with, the woman he has built a life with since they were in grade school. She has loved him forever and how does one transfer that so cavalierly? It has given me pause and as Master puts it - something to what if about….
Lots of play happened as well. This is the group with the one couple who do some amazing needle work and it just fascinates me. The intricate designs and the sheer number of needles just boggles the brain. Were it not for the whole blood thinners/diabetic thingy? I am sure needle play would be on my agenda. It was astounding.
It was also kind of amusing and a bit worrisome to watch a relatively new couple together. This is a young man who is being mentored by out host. He is still in the early stages of ownership and to watch him attempt to emulate the older men made me smile. Sort of watching a little boy follow dad around as he is doing yard work or washing the car. Trying so hard to look ‘just like dad’ but falling a bit short due to lack of maturity and experience. At one point a few of the older men took him aside and splained the difference between respect and fear and he was better after that. His poor girl looked terrified initially and he was the source of her fear. Which in my humble opinion is not okay.
I fear making a mistake or making Him look bad because I would never want to embarrass Master or cause Him any shame or what have you. But I am not afraid of Him. She was so scared to make her master look bad because of how he would react to her…in his flawed attempt to make it appear he was in control. When in fact? Fear was controlling both of them. Towards the end of the day things had improved so this was a good sing.
So I have much more to tell you about the party but it is getting late and I have a million errands to run before the day ends…tomorrow is our anniversary and we are celebrating quietly but intensely…to quote that man who loves me…
